Dear, Single Girl (Some Very Important Things I’ve Learned From Being Single)
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“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
How are you ? I hope you are doing well. I can’t believe that I am finally writing to you and telling you about my crazy non extent love life. I decided to write to you because honestly, it’s really the only thing I am educated on when it comes to relationships. Majority of the people I know are all in relationships. It’s the NORM around us now. Being in a relationship is plastered all over social media and cuffing season is the only thing people really talk about when the weather starts to get cold outside. Recently I had a moment where I reflected on my own experiences of being single in my 20’s. If you aren’t new to my blog then you would know all about my past relationship. It’s the only one I ever talk about because it’s the only one I’ve ever had. Anyways, but if you’re new WELCOME…..I will give you a little run down on my love life. My first and last relationship was in 2013. We started dating in 2012 and we broke up in 2013.
I can tell you that the reason I have been single for so long is by choice and not by choice. I recently graduated with my master’s degree in January and I was so focused on school and traveling that I could care less about a relationship. My travels were my love and I had so much I wanted to do while living abroad. Well I’ve been fortunate enough to experience being single for quite some time now and I am here to share my experience.
Majority of my 20’s I have been single. I got into a relationship when I was 20 and we broke up right before my 22 birthday. Since then I have dated and I did fall in love with one other person but I never had a serious relationship after my first boyfriend. My breakup left me crush and I could not recognize the girl I was looking at in the mirror. I was a whole different person and I HATED who I was becoming. Eventually I realized that enough was enough and I was worth more than that breakup made me feel.
So what have I learned?
The most important thing I learned while being single is the rediscovery of myself. While I was in my relationship I was a total different person. I was not the person who I really was deep down inside. I found myself doing things I hated just because he enjoyed doing them. My entire life revolved around him and his child. It felt like I left my entire identity behind and started a whole new one while dating him. While I was in that relationship I lost my independence and self-growth. I was young and it was my first actual serious relationship and boyfriend. At that age, I should have been learning about myself and who I wanted to be in life. I was completely focused on my relationship and not myself and it showed. I could have done so much more with my life during that time but I made him my everything and when we broke up I had nothing.
So, I have been single for about 4 years now. I know right 4 whole long years… crazy, right? Well not really and I am totally happy with that. I have become more independent and I have grown so much within these past few years. So yeah these past few years have been super amazing to me. I graduated college not once but twice. I now have my bachelors from the University of North Texas and my master’s degree from City, University London. I moved across the world to London, England where I went to grad school. I wrote my 15,000-word thesis in Berlin, Germany where I did not know how to speak a lick of German. I also lived in Cape Town, South Africa for the remaining of 2016. A few years after my breakup I experience a true sense of self and independence. I am enjoying my freedom and the ability to go and do what I please when I please. I have the ability move across the county and not have a doubt in my mind that I might be jeopardizing a relationship.
Throughout these past 4 years I’ve learned that I must love myself or no one else will. No one is every really going to love me as much as I love me. My relationship with God has also been the center of my attention. I still pray every night for my future husband. It’s something I’ve been doing since 2012. I now know what I want in my next relationship and how God will be the center of it all. I knew that God had a reason for why my relationship with that guy didn’t work out and years later I finally saw his vision.
The most important thing I’ve learned about while being single is that I can still enjoy life without a man. I learned that I can enjoy my own company. I had to learn that if I can’t my own company then no one else will. I can now go places by myself and not have to wait on someone to be ready. Oh yeah ……one of my biggest pet peeves is waiting on a person.
Overall, I have enjoyed being single for the past four years. I’ve learned so much about myself and built better relationships with my friends and family. I love a good girl’s night and painting the town red.
I’m not against love or anything like that. I do believe in love and romance. Sometimes I do miss waking up to a good morning text message and a good night sweet heart. I am a sucker for cuddles and just relaxing at home on a raining day watching movies. I’ve came to a point in my life where I realized that one day I will end up with the right one but until then I told myself that I can’t settle because some nights I feel lonely. I rather enjoy my singleness than be with someone and waste each other’s time because we’re just bored.
So, to the single people out there being single isn’t a curse. It’s a blessing and there are so many life lessons you will learn along the way. You have time to do the things you always wanted to do. Don’t rush your singleness because before you know it you’ll be married with 2 kids and your only quit time is in the bathroom.
I hope you enjoyed me sharing my experience with you and I hope you can take away from this. Enjoy your single years I promise you it will go fast.