I’ve been in love probably one time in my life. I don’t know when I will be in love again but I’m not going to rush it. My first love was also my first heart break. I loved him more than he loved me and I guess thats why it hurt so much. I sat around and thought about this for a very long time. I came to the conclusion that I’m never going to love someone more than they love me.
I know that sounds stupid to some people. Why not love each other equally right ? Yeah that can work but thats not how I look at life at this point in time. I don’t want to ever go through that type of heart break again. Im better off if he loves me more than I love him. I mean come on its hard to even get a guy to actually love you. He can say it but he might not mean it.
Its safer on my end if he loves me more. I know I sound selfish but everyone has their own views on life. I don’t plan on keeping it a secret from him. I don’t think I would tell him I love him first. He would have to be the one to say it. Then I would follow with an I love you too; if I did love him at that point in time. I realized that I can’t allow myself myself to love someone more than they love me any more. I have to start putting me first. Some point in time every one deserves to be treated like royalty.
I get caught up in the idea of being in love and being with that person that sometimes I lose myself within a relationship. I mean I don’t know how accurate that is but my last relationship didn’t bring out the best in me. I lost my identity when I started dating him and I don’t want that to happen again.